In the Room With Sexual Assault Survivors

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(CN: Graphic discussion of the effects of sexual assault. Really graphic.) Hey, Betsy DeVos. Nearly every workday I have at least one extended conversation with a fellow survivor of sexual assault, usually acquaintance rape, that is either about that sexual assault directly, or about the effects it has had on that person’s life. In the years I’ve worked as a therapist, well over 80% of the women and over 50% of the I have worked with have had at least one encounter in their lives that is legally defined as sexual assault or molestation. I realize this is not a…

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Reboot and Patreon Announcement

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ReBoot It’s time to reboot. Am I the Only One Dancing has lain dormant now for quite a while. To be frank, I’ve been in mourning since Clinton lost in November, and I’ve been in shock and dismay since Trump took office in January. While all that was happening, multiple rapid changes were also happening in my personal life. To take stock: My husband lost his old job due to physical disability and got a new, lower paying one My youngest son left for the Navy and is now doing well in Navy Nuclear A school. I have hired two…

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Quick Tip: Dealing with Public Health and Mental Health Providers

public health

Accessing public health care can be frustrating and emotionally painful. Just remember that patience and politeness will get you much further than anything else. Emergencies happen. Appointments before you run long. Bring something to keep yourself and/or your children occupied, like books, small games or crafts. Especially if you have children, bring snacks (there is usually a water fountain available).  If you struggle around crowds, bring headphones or something else that will help you feel less surrounded, and sit as far from others as possible. Anticipate a wait, and if it doesn’t happen, count that to the good. Make sure that…

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Elliot Rodger and the “Magical Therapy” Myth

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(content may be triggering to some for discussion of violence) We hope that Magical Therapy Will Protect Us Elliot Rodger killed six people and himself. He did so after years (decades?) of the best mental health treatment money can buy, and of a family life that, while just as imperfect as the rest of ours, wasn’t particularly traumatic, abusive, or neglectful. I really feel for his mental health workers. He named several of them by name in his manifesto, and the temptation for many people must be huge to blame them for what he did, or at least for not…

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